Smut Sales Down, Porn Needs Bailout

#TCOT #diggcons

How can you say no to faces..wait.. (edited) like this?

I can’t help it, I have to say it!  I told you so!  After the “Bailout Bill for the Big Banks” was passed, I knew there would be no end to people, businesses and entire industries standing in line with their hands out and pockets empty.

Well, the latest industry to call on Congress for a $5 billion bailout doesn’t have empty pockets–they don’t have any pockets at all!  The newest bunch of solicitors seeking your hard-earned money have employees who don’t even wear clothes to work.  Who are they?

The publisher of Hustler magazine, Larry Flynt,  and the CEO of Girls Gone Wild, Joe Francis claim that porn is a vital American industry that deserves a taxpayer bailout too!  Flynt goes so far as to claim that failure to dole out government dollars to shore up the smut industry would present a danger to the health of the nation.

“People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt says, “This is very unhealthy as a nation.* Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

*emphasis added

If that’s not depraved enough to convince Congress that the US will fail to exist as we know it if naked men and women are forced to stand in unemployment lines, try this–Congress has a duty to make Americans horny according to Flynt!

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind,” Flynt says, “It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.* The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

*emphasis added

This would be funny if I was certain the Democratic controlled Congress wouldn’t stoop so low as to take money from my pocket to fill the G-strings of these poor men and women who suffer so much in this economy that they must resort to rubbing their naked bodies over other hot young bodies in order to make a living. Since I’m not convinced, it’s depressing.

Francis wants Congress to empathize with the American citizens who patronize the porn industry. How will these citizens of our country survive if something so near and dear to their heart as their nudie magazines and XXX videos suddenly became unavailable?

Francis says, “Its [porn’s] emergence into the mainstream of popular culture suggests that the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”*

*emphasis added

You don't want her on food stamps do you?

I know what you’re thinking: Surely the Democrats wouldn’t stoop so low as to tax dollars in the pockets G-strings of the porn kings and queens? Okay, what if I told you these brokers of smut contributed heavily to the campaigns of well known democrats?

According to this article, Obama’s campaign received $1000’s from gay porn baron Terry Bean. Larry Flynt contributed $1000’s to Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) and the Democratic National Committee. Joe Francis donated $4000 to Senator John Kerry (D-MA) in 2004. We’ll have to watch how these two Democrats vote on the upcoming “Save the Smut Sales Bill.”

This won’t be the end. I don’t know what could top this request for our hard-earned dollars to shore up smut in America, but you can bet there will be more and more grovelers for the manna taken from hard working Americans to line the pockets and G-strings of incompetent, irresponsible CEO’s of inefficient and ineffective companies.

Work hard America, then work harder and remember you are your brother’s and sister’s keeper–even if your brother and sister make their living having sex with farm animals.

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Cheeky: Porn industry wants a bailout–Michelle Malkin

Porn Chiefs Gone Wild: Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis Seek $5 Billion Bailout From Congress–Religion and Morality